On my bed I remember you—
I think of you through the watches of the night.
So on my bed I remembered me—
I thought of me through the watches of the night.
It didn't feel good, though. Each fantastical, self-absorbed thought was delicious, but made my heart sicker.
It reminded me of a time when I ate my way through several boxes of Screaming Yellow Zonkers.
← Not helpful.
But as I was crunching away on my anxious thoughts, I remembered Psalm 63:6, and it sounded like healthy food. Antipanic medicine for my soul.
I made an effort to do what the psalmist had done, to remember God. The line three verses earlier came into my mind:
Your constant love is better than life itself—
and so I will praise you. Ps. 63:3
God knows the secrets that are in the darkness of my body, the secrets that doctors can only see (and even then, imperfectly) by doing tests.
Here's what I fell asleep thinking: God knows the whole of me, and is not panicking. I have much to do in my life. Many things call me forward. So I'd better get on with it, and do what's mine to do.
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