The voice received on the outside

I recently viewed some porn online. I wanted to know what's out there.

I'm wise enough to stay away from things that would definitely offend me or injure me emotionally, so I steered in the direction of what doesn't offend me, at least not in the abstract: consensual sex between grown ups.

It didn't take long to learn what I needed to know.

Reflecting on my, um, adventure, I wonder what makes scenes like the ones I saw so hard to forget? Well, that part seems biological; even kind of mechanical. (That word has come up several times during my reflections: mechanical.)

And what was it, exactly, that troubled me about what I saw? What was it that marred the rest of my day, made my sleep fitful, and gave me a sort of spiritual and emotional indigestion?

I found a rich answer in this adapted quote from The Confessions of St. Augustine:

I asked the earth, the sea and the deeps, heaven, the sun, the moon and the stars. My questioning of them was my contemplation, and their answer was their beauty. They do not change their voice, that is their beauty, if one person is there to see and another to see and to question. Beauty appears to all in the same way, but is silent to one and speaks to the other. They understand it who compare the voice received on the outside with the truth that lies within.

Yes! As I reflect on the "voice" of the porn that I looked at and compare it to the truth that lies within, there is a grating and ugly clash. They do not match. The voice received on the outside was not true, and it was not beautiful.

(Click the photo to get a better view of Star Cluster M34.)